In some sense, this is a continuation of a post from earlier in March: “Yawn!”
As is probably evident from many of my blog posts, I tend to have a lot of activities going on.
Lots of other go-go-go events!
Services at Hillel!*
Notice that the latter two items have asterisks. I like them just as much, if not more so, than some of the other activities in the non-bulleted bullets. However, those events tend to be less physically and/or mentally involved than the others. (Even though davenning uses spiritual energy, I find it uses a different part of my brain than when I am thinking with research or teaching.)
Indeed, the latter two seem a change of pace from my hectic “regular” life. Oftentimes, when I am with family, our activities can be lower-key, like hanging out around the house, chatting or watching TV. I treasure these times, since I am with the most important people in my life, but I tend to get yawny or feel tired in these situations, especially on holidays. For example, last night, by 20:30, I was already starting to feel tired, despite not having done much during the day. It was relaxing sitting on the couch after dishes and חנוכה candles, just chatting about various topics.
In the March post, I had mentioned that I sometimes get yawny on Sunday afternoons or evenings, and gave a few possible reasons. For this case, I have a feeling that, when it comes to Saturdays in which I try closer to follow the laws of שבת, or to holidays with family, clearly I am not in a go-go-go mood. It’s a change of pace from my usual, and in some sense, I feel that my usual busy schedule, rather than sapping my energy, actually provides me with energy. It is not a perpetual motion machine, but since I approach these activities with such vim and vigor, alacrity reigns even if I have already done a bazillion activities in a day.
The days of less activity give me more time to think, I feel, and also the change of pace seems to really slow me down. I’ll call it constructive boredom. As I think I have mentioned in some previous posts, I know my boundaries on productivity, and when I am on vacation, I would rather be bored than attempting to work against my will. Boredom is not a bad thing, especially when seen as a change of pace. In some sense, boredom for me is often accompanied by togetherness, and that turns it into a positive.
Let me put it in another way. Despite all of my activities, sometimes I feel that they are often in a state of being alone (NOT “lonely”). Being around other people helps me to break out of my shell of being alone, and in some sense, my go-go-go is an Aspie shell that I raise. Holidays, family time, and other times of togetherness help to break it down. It is, frankly, somewhat ironic, since the go-go-go could be construed to some people as sensory overload!
Therefore, this description of lack of energy should NOT be construed as a complaint at all. At the end of the day, I feel that with whom you are is more important than what you have done.