[M.M.X.I.V. 345] Can I (TBT)

In honor of yesterday’s final exam, I got a few of the requests “Can I use the restroom?”  A few times ago when I proctored, this was one situation:

Noah is watching for suspicious behavior and hands for questions.

A student raises their hand.

Noah approaches the student’s seat.

STUDENT: “Can I use the restroom?”

NOAH (deadpan): “I’m a proctor, not a proctologist.”

(pause 1 second)

NOAH: “But yes, you may go.”

OK, so you can call me pedantic, a grammar nut (despite the fact that I am also a mathematician!), Mr. Raider, insufferable, etc.  Was the deadpan comment out of line?


Today is the three-hundred and forty-fifth day of M.M.X.I.V.  That makes forty-nine weeks and two days.

Today is the three-hundred and forty-seventh day of Mission 441.  Ninety-four days remain.


4 thoughts on “[M.M.X.I.V. 345] Can I (TBT)

  1. Very clever and very funny, Noah; reminds me of the way I used to banter with the kids I taught – pretty near the knuckle at times, I was! Excellent response, anyway, because, had the request been in any way dodgy – and, as a teacher of many years’ standing, I know how keen the little darlings were to get out of my lesson (!) – your words would give the potential escapee pause for thought and, if he/she had nefarious plans up his/her sleeve, your deadpan comment would alert the blighter that you had sussed it out! Sorry – not my best ever sentence! Longer than Wagner’s Ring Cycle and just as incomprehensible!


    • I don’t think their intention was ever nefarious, but it was more about correcting their grammar–ha!

      Your run-on sentence was fine–it didn’t confuse me like the streams of thought in William Faulkner’s “The Unvanquished…” of which I was not one of the unvanquished through reading it!


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