Despite the title of this post, I intend it to be more about humor than about pain or suffering. Because when it comes to physical problems, as what I will describe next, the best medicine is to laugh it off.
I know that I am very strong, mentally, when it comes to physical injuries on the outside. Although it may hurt a little bit when, for example, I get cut on accident, it does not put me in terrible distress.
Even when the injuries have been major, such as Masada, the Rock The Bike Attack, or the Head On Collision, I have remained relatively calm. And Exhibit AAA of disproportionate calm: November 22, 2011. The Head-On was the worst of those in terms of lasting injuries, but I didn’t have to be admitted to a mental institution in addition to the physical problems that I suffered.
No, my relative distress to the severity of the injury seems to be inversely proportional when it happens on the outside. Therefore, the most annoying injuries to me are the small minor injuries. There is one in particular that inspired this post… but is not what I recently suffered. But, here is the worst small injury to suffer…
They can happen at any time when you’re handling paper. And unlike some other small injuries of which you might not feel it immediately, with paper cuts, you know that they happened… immediately. The dislocation of the skin you immediately see, and there’s that inimitable sensation while the paper is cutting through your skin.
And they EQUICONTINUOUSLY* hurt! Who would have thought that a small incision that doesn’t actually penetrate could cause so much grief? ARZELA-ASCOLI*, they do! And unlike some of the larger injuries, for which a bandage or Ace wrap or other item can eliminate the pain, with a paper cut, nothing that you use will help… unless there is something that I don’t know about.
The injury that I suffered was not a paper cut, but has still caused me a lot of grief, and is in the same line. This morning, I was putting on my shoes before heading out to the office. However, on the right-hand side of the shoe, one of the metal loops has a little sharp spot. My right “ring” finger caught the sharp spot, and separated the skin near the tip of the finger. PURPLE CARD WITH A RAVEN ON IT!**
Yep, it is causing me some extra grief and annoyance. It is still dogging me today as I write this post, because it is near the point where I would type. Although it’s not causing me to change any of my normal activity, it is annoying how it gives such a disproportional amount of suffering to its size.
This has also happened to me once when I cut the bottom of my foot on something in the dark. It wasn’t a Lego, but it hurt immediately. I wasn’t screaming “HYPERBOLIC SINE INTEGRAL WITH AN ARGUMENT OF TIME!*”, I think that my brain may have wanted to curse like the upcoming video.
Because comic relief is really the best way to get over a small problem!
Today is the three-hundred and eighty-third day of Mission 441. Fifty-eight days remain.
- Each of the single-asterisked words allow any replacement of expletives. Your choice.
** The purple card with a raven on it is the Curse card from Dominion.