When people date, one fairly inevitable part of developing the relationship is for each of the daters to meet the others’ parents and/or other family members.
Interestingly, for me, though I have only been in one boyfriend/girlfriend relationship (my current one with Dina), I have met parents and/or extended family of several of my close friends.
I don’t think I have ever really blogged explicitly about my relationship or even how I normally build rapport with people, but I notice that I tend to build friendly rapport with women more easily than I do with men. Most of my close friends are female, yet this doesn’t seem to be a red flag in my relationship.
This week is a blog-worthy occasion, however. It is the first time that I have “brought home” a girlfriend to Lincoln to meet my family.
In some relationships, the “Meet the Parents/Family” phase is a part of strong intimidation or fear.
But in my relationship with Dina, I had no qualms about meeting her immediate and extended family, for the following reasons:
- I have often met parents of my other female friends for various reasons, such as S.B.’s parents when I lived in the Twin Cities as pure friends and househosts, or K.A.’s parents while watching her tennis meets, among others, even when there has been no interest on either side of a relationship.
- In fact, I met Dina’s father on our second encounter (notice that I use the word encounter and not date) on June 13, 2011.
- About four and a half months later, I met her mother and one of her brothers when we went to a Birthright alumni event in Lincolnshire, close to her parents’ house.
- I met some of her other family members in 2014-15 (including grandparents, aunts/uncles, and cousins), when we went as friends to “Friday Night Live” services, or she invited me to her family’s Independence Day festivities.
- Thus, by the time that we officially decided to start dating (with an hour remaining in my 29th birthday), I already knew her family pretty well, so that “meeting her family” was already done.
- On the other hand, she had only briefly met my parents and siblings when they came to Evanston for my graduation and for the 2016 Nebraska vs. Northwestern football game.
It would be really interesting to find out her perspective thus far on my family: she has met all of my siblings, my parents, and my mom’s father. I know that I am comfortable around her family, and in general am comfortable around the family of my good friends.
It probably helps that I see that she is close with her family. That might be a good predictor…
J-Term: 07 days
Road Trip: 80 days
Israel: 158 days