Express? YEAH RIGHT!

You are choosing between self-checkout and full-service checkout at the grocery store.

All full service lines are taken, so you think “I don’t have that many items, so I’ll do self checkout.”

Things slow down to a crawl.

You have to enter in your phone number because your discount card tag has disappeared into the ether. There goes a few seconds.

You scan the items that have bar codes. Nothing bad happens.

You put pears on the laser glass and it reads a bar code on the pear… unsuccessfully.

You scroll through a long menu to find the code for pears to key in manually.

You put the pears onto the bagging area.

The machine complains aloud to you, “Unexpected item in bagging area. Please remove item before continuing.”

You obey it and then return it to the bagging area since you had already scanned it.

Lather, rinse, and repeat.

The beacon on your station changes from green to red flashing.

The only person to help is currently bagging groceries at a non-self-service station.

They help you out to unfreeze your station.

The next item gives the same procedure. Four minutes wasted.

And to make things worse, this story tends to repeat itself more frequently when I click the “I brought my own bag” and put my own bags in the bagging area at the beginning.

Moral of the story: if you have more than a few items or if you have coupons to deal with, self-checkout is a bad bet, especially during non-busy times!

If you want unexpected, however, I’d like to go into the Dragon Quest world and sic an “urnexpected” monster on these machines.

(Borrowing this image from a BuzzFeed listicle based across the pond…)


Road Trip: 35 days

פסח: נ”ט ימים (Passover: 59 days)

ארץ ישראל: קי”ג ימים (Israel: 113 days)

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